Christmas At Lake Woebecum

Since I first heard him on BBC Radio 4, I’ve been addicted to the cadence of Garrison Keillor’s voice and to the gentle world that he creates for us to visit. In idle moments,I imagine going to a dinner in which he and Geoffry Chaucer are the guest speakers. I think they would make a wonderful team.

One Christmas, I found myself wondering what would happen in a parallel universe, in an American where the Libertine was seen as the embodiment of Liberty and the statue on Staten Island wore leather and held aloft a glowing dildo. Suddenly, I knew exactly the voice such a story would be written in…

It was such a wicked thought that my only possible course of action was to surrender to temptation.

Here in Lake Woebecum, we have always been home to the strange and the horny. Somehow they get spun out of the maelstrom of everyday life and come to rest here, in this little town on the edge of a seldom visited lake in up-State New York. This is a town where men are men and women are women but they sometimes wear each others clothes. Where the Norwegian bachelor farmers hang out in singles bars and fail to notice the absence of women. Where the local hardware store does a thriving trade in long life batteries and exotic leather gear with complex straps and latex accessories.

It is Christmas Eve and Main Street is looking festive. Leather clad couples have tinsel on their buckles as they hurry towards the “Janus Cafe”. A warm welcome is extended from the “Helping Hands” massage parlor, where customers get a free cup of egg nogg with every second coming. At the corner of Main and Pine, last minute present buyers enter Sorenson’s Erotic Emporium hoping to find those little gifts that make all the difference on Christmas morn: the jingbells nipple clamps, the angel shaped clitoral stimulator with festive fastenings and the ever popular candytwist butt plugs.

Let me draw your attention to Lars Ingtwist, who is laboring happily over his new window display. Lars is famous for his creativity and it is a tradition for folks to gather at his window late on Christmas Eve to marvel at his display.

This year Lars has a new exhibit, a recent arrival on Lake Woebecum’s shores and subject of considerable gossip. Lars has been training her since Thanksgiving and it is said that her capacity for pain is prodigious.

Lars looks down at his handywork and feels the satisfaction of a job well done. Eva fits snugly on the narrow bench in the center of the window. Lars has used leather straps, with studs on the inside and out to tie her to the bench, ankles folded back to her buttocks, elbows tied to her ankles, wrists tied beside her knees. The ball gag in her mouth has a line attached to it pulling her head all the way back so her mouth is in a straight line with her throat. Her recently shaved cunt faces the window. Lars has kindly positioned a mirror on the rear wall so that all of Eva’s body is visible and so that she can see the reactions of the passers-by.

Lars is particularly proud of the device that sits between Eva’s small high breasts. He is thinking of applying for a patent. The base of the device is a large black leather cock. Coming out it is a bar with a screwthread. Another bar sits on the screwthread making a T shape. Eva’s nipples are clamped to either end of the top of the T. At the moment they are not stretched at all.

Eva’s labia are held open by tape, decorated with a holly and ivy motif. Between her legs, below the level of her cunt, is a wheel. Coming out from the wheel, like spokes, are four 6″ lengths of clothesline. When the wheel turns the clothesline will slap Eva’s clit and the open slit of her cunt. When the wheel runs at full speed, the slapping will be continuous.

The rest of the window display is filled with Christmas trees and artificial snow.  Outside the window are two coin slots. Above the coin slots is a sign “Christmas is coming and so is Painslut. Drop a quarter and make her cum”. 1 quarter in the left slot will make the T bar rise one quarter turn, stretching Eva’s nipples. 1 quarter in the right slot will rotate the wheel four times at speed.

Lars kisses Eva gently on the forehead and says, “Let’s see how generous the public is today.”

Eva is excited to be on display like this, with her wet pink pussy spread open for all to see.  Her clit is hard and throbbing, peeking out from beneath its protective hood.  Her pussy is dripping wet. She is squirming, wanting to feel the slapping of the clothesline on her clit and cunt. Lars has taught her so much since she arrived here.

The mirror shows her that the first customers have arrived. A group of five young men, the oldest maybe 20 years old, are standing in front of the window.  They are fishing through their pockets looking for change to put in the slots. They feed quarters into the right slot, making the wheel turn. Eva’s hips jerk and bounce as she feels the line slapping against her clit.  She feels it getting wetter and wetter, all shiny and slick.  She is thrilled when she sees that the boys are rubbing their crotches as they stare at her cunt.

Laura Ingle, the local librarian, comes to see what all the fuss is about. She is a very stern looking lady who knows all the boys. She flashes them a hard look then turns to look at Eva.  She reaches into her purse and inserts eight quarters into the left slot. She smiles as she watches Eva’s nipples being stretched, her tongue flicking eagerly over her lips as she examines the slow flow of juices from Eva’s wide spread cunt.

For a moment the window is unattended and Eva feels herself held in that state of extreme anticipation that is the essence of Christmans Eve. She is brought back to the present by the sound of flesh banging against the window. Johnny “the meat” O’Riley, filled with the Christmas spirit, is banging his substantial penis against the glass to get Eva’s attention. Suddenly Eva knows who she wants between her Christmas stockings. Johnny’s cock is a marvel of nature. Eva’s mouth waters around the ball gag.  Johnny drops quarters into both slots and begins to rub his cock.

Eva’s moans echo against the window as her pussy is slapped by the clothesline and her nipples are painfully stretched.  She writhes in her bonds as he continues to drop in quarters and  his hand slides faster and faster on his pulsing cock.  Her pussy feels hot, her lips are puffy, juices  are pouring from her now. By the time Johnny shoots his cum on to the window, Eva knows that she will never leave the strange sanctuary offered by the citizens of Lake Woebecum.

The snow falls steadily on Main Street, making it look like all the other small towns in the State, but a fire burns in the souls of the men and women who live here that will makes it a special place. God bless them all, each and every one.

© Mike Kimera 2000 All rights reserved. Do not reproduce without written permission from

A story without a reader is incomplete. Please let me know what you think of this story by leaving a comment below.

2 thoughts on “Christmas At Lake Woebecum

  1. Well that certainly was a tribute to Garrison Keillor. I’ll never hear about Lake Woebegone in the same way again.

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