“Deserving Ruth” is a story I’m proud of.
It has a lot of sex scenes in it for a short story and gets into territory that would normally be the heart of porn but it isn’t really about sex. It’s about guilt and betrayal and the possibility of redemption.
This is the story I point to when someone asks me the difference between porn and erotica. If this was porn, the first thing you would remember would be whichever scene aroused you the most. What makes this erotica is that. when the arousal has ebbed, what youou will remember is the people
This story appeared in Maxim Jakobowski’s “Best New Erotica 3“.
“My wife says you like to come in her mouth, David.”
We are only one drink in to the evening and this isn’t the conversational opener I’d expected. I nurse my bottle of Bud and say nothing.
Lars puts his arm around my shoulders, leans his head down towards mine and says, “Mei Mei does have a talented tongue, but I always wonder about a man who is able to resist her tight little cunt. There’s something about the grip of a wet cunt on your cock that a mouth just can’t match, don’t you think?”
I am very aware of the heat of Lars’ body next to mine. He is dressed in Levis and tight fitting black t-shirt and he looks like six foot four of pure muscle. For a moment it occurs to me that he could snap my neck without breaking sweat, but he is smiling and from the tone of his voice we could be talking about cars or sports.
I glance over at Mei Mei. She looks small next to my wife, Ruth. They both have the same long black hair and have conspired to wear matching outfits, black silk shirt-dresses that stop inches above the knee and tie with a simple belt at the waist. Their makeshift uniforms emphasise how different they are. Ruth has a strong Slavic look; her breasts and hips seem almost swollen and over-ripe compared to Mei Mei’s compact Malaysian frame. The two of them are talking animatedly, leaning forward, their faces almost touching. Ruth’s hand rests on Mei Mei’s knee, her fingers pointing along the line of her thigh. Sexual intent seems to flash between them.
“Ruth has nice breasts, David,” Lars says, “You must enjoy pressing her tits together and pushing your cock between them.”
I feel the beginnings of an erection and I wish Lars would take his arm off my shoulders. I have never fucked Ruth’s tits, she has never let me, but I have often wondered what it would be like.
I continue looking at the women to give myself time to decide how to get Lars to move his arm without causing offence. After all, this is his house and I was brought up not to insult my host.
Ruth’s hand is now out of sight, underneath Mei Mei’s dress. Mei Mei leans forward and pushes her tongue into Ruth’s mouth. There is something staged about the kiss. The tongues are too visible. I know that, out of the side of their eyes, they are looking at Lars and me, putting on a show for us.
Ruth is in charge of course. Ruth is always in charge. She was the one who brought Mei Mei into our bed. She told me that they met at one of those Manchester Sauna clubs that doubles as a swingers swap centre. Mei Mei was new and all the men had been trying to get her attention. Ruth pushed them aside, pulled Mei Mei’s head back by the hair and then kissed her. Mei Mei kissed back and opened her legs slightly. Ruth said that Mei Mei was so wet she could have slid her whole fist into her cunt. As it was, pushing two fingers in was enough to cause general applause from the watching men.
Normally Ruth doesn’t involve me in her promiscuous adventures, but she always tells me about them. She wants me to know the lengths that she goes to to find satisfaction.
Ruth has a set routine. Whenever she gets really horny she goes to the club and fucks. Then she comes back and tells me all about it. She makes me sit in the living room with the palms of my hands on the arm of the chair. If I move my hands she will walk out of the room and not tell me anything more. If I stay still, she will talk me through every detail, all the while coaxing my cock to get harder and harder. Then she’ll let me be her last fuck of the day.
I was in the chair, being told about the Malaysian girl who had nipples like rivets and hair like silk and I was getting nicely stiff when Ruth said, “You’ll love her mouth on your cock. She’ll swallow you whole.”
This was a departure from the routine. I was still trying to decide what to make of it when Ruth said, “You can come in now.”
Mei Mei came out of our bedroom. She was naked. She didn’t look at me, only at Ruth. Her look was full of longing.
“I told her she could only lick my cunt once her mouth was filled with your cum,” Ruth said, as if she was describing some every day instruction.
I said nothing. speech was beyond me. Mei Mei knelt and looked up at Ruth.
“Keep your mouth open and your tongue out,” Ruth said.
Ruth began to work my cock with her fingers. Her grip was strong enough to hurt. She was interested in results, not finesse. She took care to rub my glands against the tip of Mei Mei’s tongue from time to time. When she felt that I was ready to come she pushed Mei Mei’s head forward so that I was in her mouth when the cum pulsed out of me.
“Don’t swallow that,” Ruth said.
Mei Mei opened wide, letting my limp cock slip out, and showed Ruth the cum she held in her mouth.
Ruth sat on my lap with her back to me, her legs spread on either side of my knees.
“Show me how deep you can push that cum inside me,” Ruth said.
As Mei Mei worked with her tongue, Ruth gave me a running commentary on her performance. She told me that Mei Mei was a much better cunt licker than me and said that she must have had a lot of practice.
The narration became more and more breathless as Mei Mei buried her head between Ruth’s legs. When Ruth came her whole body tensed against mine. I was hard again by now, my cock rolling around under Ruth and close to Mei Mei’s mouth. I wanted to be inside one of them.
Ruth climbed off me. She pulled Mei Mei to her feet and hugged her.
“I’m taking Mei Mei to bed to reward her for her hard work,” Ruth said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
This was outrageous behaviour, even by Ruth’s standards. I should have complained. I should have demanded to join them. I should have pushed Ruth to the floor and fucked her into submission. I just sat there looking stupid, my unwanted erection signalling my uselessness.
As they reached the bedroom door I heard myself say, “Please.”
It sounded sad and pathetic even to me.
“Shall we let him watch, Mei Mei?” Ruth asked.
“I would like to see him inside you,” Mei Mei said.
It was the first time I had heard her speak. Her voice was soft and gentle. It made me want to smile.
“Come along, David,” Ruth said, “if you are still hard after I’ve rewarded Mei Mei I will let you be my last fuck of the day.”
I went to her like a recently scolded puppy being offered a bone.
Ruth placed Mei Mei’s hand around my cock.
“Hold on to that for me, Mei Mei. Don’t let him come.”
Mei Mei smiled encouragingly and then she closed her fingers around me as if she was grasping a luggage handle. We made an absurd chain of need as Ruth led Mei Mei into the room by the hand and I was pulled along behind them.
Ruth arranged us both on the bed, side by side. Mei Mei kept her finger and thumb around the base of my cock. Her arm was a line of heat across my belly.
“Watch and learn how to please a woman, David,” Ruth said.
Ruth leant over Mei Mei, her knee between Mei Mei’s legs, and tilted her long black hair until it stroked Mei Mei’s breasts and belly. It was the only part of her touching Mei Mei. Slowly Ruth increased the speed at which her hair moved across Mei Mei’s flesh until she was tossing her head from side to side and almost whipping Mei Mei with her mane.
I hadn’t realised how hard Mei Mei had been gripping me until Ruth finally held her head still and Mei Mei sighed and relaxed her hand a little. Mei Mei’s nipples were hard and her eyes were closed.
Looking at me, Ruth lowered her face towards Mei Mei and kissed her on the forehead. She stroked Mei Mei’s face with the tips of her fingers, brushing her lips with her thumb. Mei Mei suckled it slowly, gratefully.
Ruth withdrew her thumb and used it to trace a wet trail between Mei Mei’s breasts and down over her belly. Mei Mei closed the rest of her fingers around my cock and seemed to hold her breath. Ruth let the moment of silent stillness grow until it was almost unbearable and then she finally took Mei Mei. Her tongue pushed its way into Mei Mei’s mouth at the same time that two of her fingers entered her cunt. Mei Mei’s back arched.
Ruth rested most of her weight on the hand that gripped Mei Mei’s sex. I could see the how she used her thumb to circle Mei Mei’s clit as she worked two and then three fingers in and out, spreading Mei Mei wide and seeming to try and scoop the juices out of her.
I wanted to move but I didn’t dare. I could smell Mei Mei’s sex, see the sweat forming on her brow. Precum started to seep from my cock. I did my best to hold back.
Ruth was in rut mode now. She had trapped Mei Mei’s thigh between her own and was working herself against it, all the time staring at Mei Mei and muttering, “Come for momma baby, come for momma”.
Then, like a bird of prey, she descended upon Mei Mei’s right nipple and savaged it between her teeth. Mei Mei’s grip on my cock was so tight it was painful. She was groaning and raising one shoulder off the bed like a wrestler resisting being pinned. Ruth’s palm was slapping against Mei Mei’s mound almost fast enough to be applause.
Mei Mei let out a long soft sigh, her body went limp and she lay there as still as the dead. Ruth stopped and looked at her, more with curiosity than fear. “Well well, a come coma. I haven’t seen one of those up close before,” she said.
Mei Mei’s eyes fluttered open. She let go of my cock for the first time since all this began and gently held Ruth’s face.
“Thank you,” she said, kissing Ruth on the lips. “Thank you.”
Even Ruth showed some emotion at Mei Mei’s gratitude; she smiled at her and ruffled her hair.
When Ruth made to get off the bed, Mei Mei said, “Wait! Please. I want to see him inside of you. Please. I want to do something special.”
Ruth looked as if she’d forgotten I was there.
“Ok,” Ruth said, “it looks like you’ve kept him harder than usual and I’d like to find out what special means, let’s do it – or should I say him?”
Mei Mei kissed me quickly on the cheek and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll like this.” Then she scrambled down the bed until she was facing my cock, her body pressed into my side.
“I’m going to help him fuck you,” she said, sounding delighted with herself.
She pressed the index and second fingers of her left hand along the underside of my cock, so that the tips of the fingers were pushing up into the soft crown of the head and my balls were cupped in her palm.
“Please, lower yourself on to us.” Mei Mei said.
“That’s going to be a tight squeeze. I mean, I know he’s only average size but will you both fit?”
“Please,” Mei Mei said.
Very slowly, Ruth lowered herself onto me. Mei Mei’s fingers were small but the extra width they generated made Ruth a very tight fit.
“Oh fuck,” Ruth said, “that’s what a cock should feel like.”
Mei Mei grinned, gave Ruth a quick kiss on the clit and said, “You’ll like the next part.”
Mei Mei used her fingers to roll the head of my cock against Ruth’s G-spot. The sensation was intense and I wanted to come at once. I also wanted this to go on forever.
Ruth was biting her lip and pulling at her nipples, eyes closed in concentration. She looked magnificent.
I couldn’t hold out any longer. Sperm started a rush from my balls and up my cock, a huge wave of energy battering through me.
Mei Mei took my release as the cue for her coupe de grace. She sucked Ruth’s clit into her mouth and started to worry it like a dog with a rabbit. I’d never felt Ruth contract so much or so often. She was so far gone that she bit her lip. A narrow ribbon of scarlet traced its way over the edge of her chin.
Mei Mei withdrew her hand and Ruth’s cunt suddenly felt cavernous around my shrinking cock. She positioned herself behind Ruth, her arms under Ruth’s armpits, her hands on Ruth’s breasts and kissed her wounded lip. She eased Ruth off me and laid her on the bed, stroking her head until Ruth slipped into sleep.
“I have to go now,” Mei Mei said.
She reached for her clothes, which lay on the chair next to the bed. By the time she had slipped into her skirt and t-shirt, I was standing next to the bed; still a little dazed by the way I’d spent the afternoon.
Mei Mei stretched up and kissed me on the cheek. “Thanks, David. Tell Ruth I’ll call her. You were both wonderful.” She waved as she went out the door. Standing naked, spent and confused I waved back, trying for a smile.
Ruth slept for twenty minutes. I covered her with a duvet. I knew I should have been angry with her, she’d treated me very badly, but I also knew that I deserved it.
We’d really loved one another once. Then, two years ago, I spoiled things. I had an affair, less than an affair, a one-night stand with an old friend I’d met by chance. I didn’t think to use a condom. I never imagined that I might pass on a disease to Ruth that would rob her of the child she had always wanted and rob me of my wife’s affection.
In Ruth’s eyes I had rejected her as lover and destroyed her as a mother with the one act of betrayal. Her promiscuity started as a means of punishing me. Now I’m not sure what drives her to it. We’ve made an accommodation of sorts, people always do, but there is an undercurrent of regret and anger and guilt that could sweep us away at any time.
“I don’t know what you’re looking so glum about.” Ruth said, when she woke. “You just got your rocks off twice in one night. That must be some kind of record for you. I’m going to get a shower. Then I’m going to sleep.”
I knew what that meant. I made my way to the guest bedroom. Laying there, replaying the sex in my head, I wondered what it was that Ruth really wanted and whether or not she’d found it.
Mei Mei didn’t come back to the house again, but I knew that Ruth had stayed at her house at least three times over the next two weeks. Ruth didn’t share the details with me. She seemed a bit distracted. Her smile was brittle and she was drinking more than usual. I avoided asking questions. I’d long ago lost the right to hold Ruth to account.
Then this morning, the pattern changed. Ruth couldn’t quite hide the tension in her voice when she said, “We’re going to Mei Mei’s house tonight. It will be a lot of fun.”
Even staying quiet doesn’t always keep me out of trouble. Ruth stepped close to me and said, “I’m sick of your wimpy silences David. You should be glad I’m including you. I hope that, for once, I can depend on you to behave properly. Do you understand?”
I nodded my head and she pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. It was a wild kiss, almost a bite. When it was over she said, “Don’t let me down, David. Not again.”
So now I’m standing way too close to a large Swedish guy and watching my wife undo the buttons on Mei Mei’s dress. I should be having a good time but I feel like an impostor in their company. I’m the sort of guy who reads CD titles in the kitchen at parties. I’ve never felt comfortable hanging out with the cool kids.
Lars lifts his arm off my shoulders, but things get worse when he taps my bum and says, “Let’s get out of these clothes and show the girls why a woman needs a man like a fish needs water.”
The “girls” stop fondling each other and watch Lars as he pulls off his t-shirt. His chest is completely smooth, he has a six-pack stomach and oh my god he has nipple rings. That’s enough to make my balls retract. I hate the idea of being pierced.
I’m still unbuttoning my shirt when Lars climbs out of his jeans. I don’t want to look at his cock but I can’t help it. He’s not erect yet but it’s already clear that he’s longer and thicker than I am. And the bloody man shaves his pubes. Even on his balls.
I stop getting undressed. I’m not at all sure I want to be here.
Lars pulls the foreskin back on his cock. His fist is wrapped around it below the head but there’s plenty of meat still visible.
“OK, who’d like first lick?”
Something in the way he says that makes me certain that I’m included in the invitation. He grins at me. I look away. I’m relieved when he walks towards Ruth and Mei Mei, his cock bouncing ludicrously in front of him.
“Into position girls. You know what I want.”
The women have slipped out of their dresses. Mei Mei kneels on the sofa. In a move that looks practised, Ruth sits astride Mei Mei’s thighs, facing her and then lays back with her head over the edge of the sofa. Mei Mei lifts Ruth’s legs so that Ruth can hook her knees over Mei Mei’s shoulders. With a smile, Mei Mei lowers her head and starts to lap gently at Ruth’s sex.
“Don’t they make a pretty picture, David?” Lars says. “Push your tits together Ruth, and let’s show David the new tricks you’ve learned.”
I’ve already realised that they’ve fucked before. This is where Ruth has been spending her time.
Ruth’s eyes are on me as Lars straddles her. He pushes his obscenely large cock between her breasts and she presses them tightly together for him. Then, slowly and deliberately she lifts her head, extends her tongue and starts to lick his arsehole.
I can’t read the expression in her eyes. It’s not pleasure, or fear. It looks more like resignation.
“You know, David, it’s impolite to fuck a man’s wife without asking his permission.” As he speaks, Lars is pushing backwards and forwards between Ruth’s breasts. Ruth is doing her best to find his anus or his balls with her tongue.
“So I decided to show Ruth how a real man fucks. Seems like she hasn’t been fucked properly in a long time. In fact, when we met, I don’t think she’d ever had it up the arse at all.”
I move closer to them, not sure what to do next. I’m trying to figure out what Ruth wants. I’ve been trying to figure out what Ruth wants ever since I betrayed her.
“Did you know that Ruth is good at deep throating? Well I guess in your case it wouldn’t really be that deep would it?”
Lars steps back a little. Ruth lies with her throat in a straight line, her eyes on me, her mouth wide open. Lars grunts as he slides his cock into her throat. He does it four or five times. Ruth really can take all of him. She doesn’t gag but her eyes seem moist. I don’t know if this is an involuntary reaction or an emotional one.
Mei Mei has stopped licking Ruth now. She is looking at me. She seems sad.
“Get ready for it baby,” Lars says. He is out of Ruth’s throat now, fiercely stroking himself in front of her face. Ready to spray all over her, like a dog marking territory.
I am still holding my half empty bottle of Bud. It doesn’t break when it hits Lars, but it is very effective at knocking him out.
Mei Mei scrambles to Lars’ aid, pushing Ruth out of her way.
I reach down and help Ruth to her feet. I wrap her dress around her. She is shaking.
“You hit him.”
“Yes, I suppose I did”.
She is under my arm. We are heading for the door.
“You might have killed him.”
We stop. She looks at me, searching for something in my face that she seems to find.
“Thank you,” she says, and wraps her arms around me.
As I bundle her into the car I let myself hope that I may finally have become someone that Ruth wants.
© Mike Kimera 2002 All rights reserved. Do not reproduce without written permission from email@example.com
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