Infidelity – when does it start? At the first fuck? At the first kiss? At the first covert glance? I was taught that it starts with the first thought. These days that first thought is often expressed in an internet chat room.
Perhaps you’re telling yourself that what’s on the internet stays on the internet; it’s not really infidelity?
Well it does stay on the internet, forever in many cases, where clever people can find it if they are motivated enough, and it may be virtual infidelity but that doesn’t necessarily make it less real.
Take a look at this little tale and see what you think about the reality of cyber-sex.
In cyberspace no one can see you blush© 2005 Mike Kimera. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce without written permission from firstname.lastname@example.org
It didn’t start out as infidelity. It was just a game. Just another form of masturbation. Nothing real. Certainly nothing dangerous. At least, that’s how it seemed to me then.
Now I know better.
Now I know myself better.
I was stalking a sleazy chatroom, looking for someone with an imagination as ferocious as mine. I didn’t want to “meet” anyone. I just wanted to get off as hard and as fast as possible.
I’d already had sex with my husband that night. Nice sex. Gentle sex. The kind that used to satisfy me but doesn’t anymore. He’d rolled over and fallen asleep almost immediately, leaving me to lie in the wet spot. I declined the honour and crept into the office. I went on line with his cum still drizzling down my thigh on to the black leather chair he’s so proud of.
I logged into the “barely-legal” room and called myself “wifewantsitrough”. There were the usual “Well-Hung” and “Hard4U” and “Bad-Daddy” names adopted by the desperately needy. It was that kind of site.
I’d expected to have to sit through the predictable “age, sex, location” crap, followed by “what are you wearing” and “how big are your tits” as if any of it mattered. Then someone called “Rapeplay” broke etiquette and sent me a private message. No introduction, no descriptions, no questions, just a statement that made my nipples hard:RAPEPLAY: You want to be fucked hard in front of your husband.
I stayed silent. I wasn’t playing hard to get. I was just shocked that he’d hit on one of my favourite fantasies.
RAPEPLAY: He’s tied and gagged but not blindfolded. He can see everything that is done to you, everything you do, every orgasm you have. You want him to see how you should be used, to know who you really are.
This guy was good. Well actually, he was bad. Very, very bad. Exactly what I was in the mood for.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: What will you make me do?
RAPEPLAY: Look him in the eyes the first time I enter your arse.
RAPEPLAY: you’re bent over him, tits hanging, body covered in sweat.
RAPEPLAY: No. I’ve taken the time to find your wedding dress. The one you hang in the back of the closet.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: Shit. How did you know that was there?
RAPEPLAY: The same way I know that you’re typing this with sticky fingers.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: So you want to butt fuck me in front of my husband?
RAPEPLAY: What I want is to unlock all those desires that you keep caged. The ones that claw at you from the inside. The things you tell yourself you’d never do but that you can’t stop thinking about
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: Like what?
RAPEPLAY: Let’s find out
We’d stopped playing but I was hotter than ever. It was if he knew me. As if he could see me. It was a game of course. Just cybering. Not real infidelity. But it felt wicked. Deliciously wicked.
RAPEPLAY: When I’m all the way in you, I tell you to pull your husband’s cock out his pants.
RAPEPLAY: SLAP – I hit your arse and feel you wriggle against my cock
RAPEPLAY: I pull out of your gaping arse.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: NO. I want you in me
RAPEPLAY: Then grab Hubby’s cock
RAPEPLAY: Is it hard
RAPEPLAY: Harder than usual?
RAPEPLAY: Do you think it’s the sight of you that makes him stiff or is it my erection that’s turning him on
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: He’s not gay
RAPEPLAY: But he’s not normally this hard either
How the hell did he know this? Gary’s erections weren’t what they used to be. He points West rather than North, if you know what I mean. Rapeplay’s smugness irked me. I decided to hit back at him
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: are you gay you bastard rapist? Would you rather be up his arse than mine?
RAPEPLAY: One arse is much like another, I’ve found.
Unbidden, a picture flashed across my mind: me tied to the chair, Gary being fucked in the arse in front of me. The first orgasm hit me then. I let the tremor earth itself and realized that RAPEPLAY: had stopped typing
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: You still there?
RAPEPLAY: You just came didn’t you? Were you imagining me moving from your arse to your husbands and back with my eyes closed, trying to guess which one is female?
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: I wasn’t but I am now.
RAPEPLAY: Perverted little slut, aren’t we?
RAPEPLAY: Then let’s raise the stakes
RAPEPLAY: Put your hands on your husband’s wrists. Hold tight.
RAPEPLAY: Bend forward, arse in the air, and push your mouth down over his cock until your nose is at his belly
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: I’ll choke
RAPEPLAY: Yes, but can you feel how excited he is? How his arms tense. How his hips want to push up and into you.
RAPEPLAY: Keep your head there. Do you hear my belt pulled quickly from my jeans?
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: I want to turn and see what you’re doing but I can’t move.
RAPEPLAY: But your husband can see, and his cock just twitched in your mouth
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: Oh God
RAPEPLAY: I flip up your dress, kick your legs wider apart so more of your weight is on your arms and then…
RAPEPLAY: THWACK! The belt catches you at the soft skin where your legs meet your butt
RAPEPLAY: DON’T fucking move. Get your head back on his belly and suck that cock.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: It hurts so bad.
RAPEPLAY: But hubby is still hard. Hubby likes it and he hates himself for liking it.
That made me shiver. I loved my husband. But all the same, just for once, I wanted him to be the one with the guilty desires
RAPEPLAY: (What’s his name?)
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: (I’d tell you, but it’s rude to speak with my mouthful)
RAPEPLAY: (Wit, no less. Tell me his name – his real name)
Why did I tell him that? Why didn’t I say George or Bill or something? And why did he want to know?
RAPEPLAY: You’ve always wanted to gag fuck your wife, haven’t you, Gary? To make her eat all that sexual arrogance she shows. Except it’s not nice. And you’re a nice man, aren’t you, Gary?
This was getting scary. It was like he’d met Gary.
RAPEPLAY: So here’s the thing, Gary. I’m going to beat your wife’s arse with this belt until you come down her throat. So unless you want her bleeding and torn, you’d better come to her aid real soon.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: (You wicked, evil, twisted, man)
RAPEPLAY: (Thank you)
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: (Would you really do that?)
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: (Have you done it – in real life?)
RAPEPLAY: (You think this isn’t real? Check the stain on the chair you’re sitting in)
RAPEPLAY: (Touching sounds like an excellent idea. I want you to listen for a while and finger fuck while you do. When you come, I want you to say your husband’s name out loud.)
My heart was beating faster. This felt like cheating. It was demeaning – to me – to Gary –to our marriage. Yet excitement was twisting in my gut like a knife blade. I slid my fingers into my cunt and waited for Rapeplay’s words
RAPEPLAY: After the fifth stroke of the belt, the pain gets to you. You want it to be over. You suck as hard as you can, working your tongue forward. Trying to make him come.
RAPEPLAY: But it’s hard to get a rhythm or to lift your head. Gary is pushing up into you now, little hip thrusts that rip at your throat.
RAPEPLAY: You wonder if he’s looking at you or me. You wonder if I’m erect and if I’m as hard as Gary.
RAPEPLAY: You’ve lost count of the strokes of the belt now. There is just pain in your arse and the force of his cock in your mouth.
RAPEPLAY: Then the belt moves its attention to between your legs. Your scream into Gary’s belly. On the third scream, you feel it, the stiffening of his whole body, the gag-muffled cry from his mouth, then his cum pulsing into you.
I was almost there but not quite. I pushed an extra finger in and played with my clit with the other hand
RAPEPLAY: You are too filled with pain and cum to move. I pull your head off Gary’s softening cock.
RAPEPLAY: I force you up into his lap, still facing him, knees apart. “Lick his face, Slut. Lick hubby with your cum covered tongue”. You are too dazed to do anything but obey.
Oh fuck, I was going to…
RAPEPLAY: then, with your tongue on his cheek, you feel my cock enter your wet cunt
I said it out loud.
Too loud. I could have woken him. But I didn’t care; his name released an orgasm that made my toes curl.
I realized Rapeplay was still typing about how he’s banging me. But his words had lost their impact now. All I wanted was to sleep.
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: Thank you. That was great.
RAPEPLAY: Did you say his name.
RAPEPLAY: How did it feel?
I hesitated a moment. How had it felt?
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: Like a blessing
WIFEWANTSITROUGH: I have to…
RAPEPLAY: Goodnight, Stephanie
It was only after I logged off that I realized that I’d never told him my name.
Questions raced through my head: Did he really know my name. Had he traced me back to my email while I was logged in? Would he find our family website with the pictures of me and Gary and the kids?
I felt a prickle of fear. But behind it was thought that surprised me: “Maybe he’ll send me mail. Maybe we’ll get to play again”.
I decided not to let myself think about that. I was cold and a little sore, and very tired. I headed for the bathroom to wash the smell of sex off me before I made my way back to my sleeping husband.
I slept surprisingly well and woke refreshed. Before Gary left to take the kids to school on his way to work, he kissed me and said quietly. “You’re looking good this morning. I guess you had a good time last night, huh?”
For one alarming moment I thought he knew about Rapeplay and me (Except, I told myself, there was nothing to know – yeah right) but his smug grin told me he was giving his own tumble credit for my morning glow.
Mischief, powered perhaps by relief at not being caught (Caught doing what? It was just cyber) took charge of me then. I pressed up against Gary, pushing my hip up against where his erection should have been and said. “I’m going to spend the day remembering it.”
I felt him stiffen, just a little. “Shame you can’t stay home,” I murmured in his ear. Then I stepped away from him and called out to the kids to get their stuff cos daddy was leaving.
Gary mouthed the word “Later” at me, grinned, and swept the kids out the door.
I took my coffee into the office and opened up my email. Even though part of me was looking for it (hoping for it), the sight of Rapeplay’s name in my inbox made my heart beat faster.
I opened the mail. There were no lurid close ups of his erection as I’d feared (hoped?) just civilised text that wound itself around my desire.
“You have a great deal of potential, Stephanie. I’d like to help you develop it. On-line. And in ‘real life’.”
I wouldn’t let myself think about the “in real life” part (he wants to fuck you, really fuck you – you haven’t been touched by another man for… – Shut up, I’m not interested.) but I loved the idea of having potential.
“I liked the pictures of you and hubby hiking.”
So, he’d found my Facebook page. I felt like he’d seen me naked: I was embarrassed and excited.
“Gary, (how nice that you used his real name) looks like a nice man. I think you need something more than nice in your life.
I’ll be in the chatroom at midnight.”
That was it.
I should have been furious or afraid or both. I should have called Gary, or the police. Instead, I opened my legs, closed my eyes, and soaked myself in the memory of something that had never happened but which was so much more real than my day-to-day life.
Afterwards, I showered, trying to wash away the slut who’d surfaced that morning. I felt clean and refreshed. And I knew that I would be back on line at midnight.